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Faux Fur Faux Pas! My Legally Blonde moment...

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So pretty much everyone at one time or another has bought an outfit, and then left it in the cupboard (or in my case, the bag) for AGES because they’re not sure they’re brave/thin/short/tall/right enough to wear it, right? I had this very situation recently with a rather awesome (but perhaps about 20 years too young for me) Riders denim jumpsuit which I finally decided to pull out and “own” (i.e wear while trying not to look too sheepish).

Unfortunately however, while I might be channelling Beyoncé in my head, I am in fact a soccer mum from suburban Melbourne, so off I went with my son to rock the mean soccer pitches of Balwyn North. Along for the ride that day was our beloved pup who happens to be a small white furry dog who was also rocking an outfit of her own…a hot pink coat with fur trim chosen by my girls for her birthday.

So, at 10am on Saturday morning I am present and accounted for at the local sports grounds with my son, our small white furry dog (in hot pink coat with fur collar), the team’s oranges, my questionably age inappropriate denim boiler suit, and a hastily grabbed puffer vest with, wait for it…fur lined hood. Of course, I had my sunnies on because the fucking sun makes me sneeze and there’s nothing I can do about it, so if I’m outside, they’re on.

Sadly for all of us wanting to shirk our suburban dresscode confines, all of the above seems to have been a bit too much for some of my fellow soccer parents. As I was being pulled along by our badly behaved dog (in the bright pink coat), sporting my sports luxe ensemble with unfortunate fur detail, and keenly aware of how jauntily I was carrying the oranges in one hand – though unable for some reason to hold them any other way – I was aware of a line of eyes watching me pass, and I could FEEL the bemusement/judgement/derision seeping from them all. And then I heard it. I wasn’t more than a couple of meters past the gallery of people lined up against the fence I was walking past when I heard it loud and clear…”Seriously?”. It was a comment made from one DAD to another with the clear inference that the scene before them was just a little too much fabulousness (or ridiculousness, one or the other) for this time and place.

And in that moment, I had a choice to make. I could die of embarrassment, or I could laugh too. Not long ago option 1 would have happened immediately, but this time I was happy to laugh. So, I trotted forth to where our team was playing and proceeded to tell everyone we came across (that I knew, obviously) about it. We all had a great laugh (at me).

As a mum its not often you get the chance to feel a bit blinged out, or even – GASP -  a little bit hip. And it’s about time we realised that how we feel in ourselves is so important in relation to how we manage those around us. So I say get out your “going somewhere” outfits and wear them to soccer, or netball, or coffee or school pickup or wherever. Chances are you’ll be waiting to wear them for a while if you don’t. And if your little hint of inner Beyonce is too much for those around you to handle, stiff shit to them.  Not everyone can have hot sauce in their bag! Next time I’m going to consider putting the dog in mine (bag, not the hot sauce!).

"I was Just Trying To Read a BOOK!!!"

Where it all began....