Bad Moon on the Rise

Can a full moon really drive you crazy? There's lots of people who seem to believe it can and a quick google search will deliver plenty of evidence as to why this is the case. Something scientific to do with the moon's effect on tides and our bodies being primarily made of water apparently.

Then of course there is the indisputable evidence of my ex-aunty - who moved all the way across the country to marry my uncle and live in a small country town working at the local loony bin, only to discover approximately two years and two kids later that that was a horrendously stupid idea and move back again...but thats a whole 'nother story! Anyway, according to her, when a full moon rolled around it would wreak havoc amongst the existing residents of the psych facility and delivered plenty of extras to the door. She absolutely swore by the link. 

Not being scientifically minded myself it did sound a bit kooky to me, but even I am beginning to think there may be something to it.

Whilst I wholeheartedly admit to being generally crazy on an ongoing basis, I really managed to step it up a notch this past few days, for absolutely no apparent reason. Firstly, I don't have a 'lady cycle' - I am perfectly hormonally regulated thanks to a piece of cheep plastic that was flung up and embedded somewhere deep in my she-organs - so it couldn't be that, and also thanks to this cheap plastic missile I surely CANNOT be pregnant (yaythanksMirena). BUT man was I a special brand of psycho these last few days!?

It started to come to a head at my daughter's gym competition on Sunday. At the (very early) start of the day, I was just hoping she wouldn't face plant. But by the end of the competition (though she had earned herself a gold medal and was happy as Larry) I had become irrationally sad for her that the (completely standard) scoring system had deprived her of an overall title. I even tried to work out this ridiculousness via an angry run, but even that didn't help.

THEN, God knows what happened to me in my sleep because on Monday I woke up filthier than an olympic rower who's just capsized their boat into the putrid Rio water and swallowed a passing turd. I hated EVERYTHING.

I hated the woman at the shopping centre gym who was taking a lazy stroll on the treadmill (even though I too was in my activewear, SHOPPING) and I hated the man who was walking behind me at the shops swearing his head off in conversation with his friend (even though I wanted to turn around and tell him to shut the fuck up myself). And I just couldn't snap out of it.

My only relief came when one of my favourite FB people of all time @farkew (get onto her, she's hilarious) posted that she was feeling the same way, and I felt there was something strangely comforting about being a feral bitch in numbers. But still, I was baffled as to what exactly had come over me when someone at school, who noticed me making a valiant attempt not to ugly cry in the playground, mentioned the moon.

And low and behold - just as my poor old ex-aunty attested to all those years ago - a full moon was indeed on the rise. In the face of this I really am starting to believe that, just like the revenge poo (see here), moon crazy is actually a thing, and my waters are upping my nut factor while the moon is high! 

So yay then for the explanation, but who's going to invent a cheap bit of plastic we can insert to take care of THAT!?!?! There's a sure fire billion dollars to be made right there science-y people! Annnnd, GO!!!

Mornings Suck.

Silence is Golden!!