Today I experienced a massive breakthrough, the likes of which have not been seen here at The Rabbit Hole/Funhouse since my daughter ATE A CRUST at school (because she was starving and I hadn’t packed her enough food, but anyway…)
I’ve just come in from a rare long run since having my boobs done (reduction for those playing along at home for the first time). Today, for the first time, I noticed three things. Firstly, my boobs were no longer moving faster than my legs, and secondly, I was seriously unfit and about to die at any moment.
The THIRD thing however is the kicker and has, without understatement, totally changed my world! It was actually more something that I could no longer notice as I ran… A sound I was so mortifyingly used to hearing, but was decidedly absent on this occasion.
I noticed, dear beautiful people, that I could no longer hear the sound of my boobs flapping against my arms when I ran!! Soooooo awesome! I am now revelling in my status as a normal person, not reduced to producing enough kinetic energy between my bingo wings and my boobs to power a small town when I run.
I couldn’t wait to get home and share! Sadly, I am off now to attend to the other sounds I am making – heaving breathing that could sustain a sex line for hours, and uncontrollable sniffing as my running seems to have dislodged 14 years worth of fluid from somewhere deep inside my nose – but you all have a lovely week; and may your body parts stay silent when you move.